Contractions In The Universe

Eu80

I think people should have to pass intelligence tests in order to have children or vote, or at the very least…maybe pay 5 dollars to vote.

Robert Heinlein laid out a modest proposal in “Expanded Universe” which was so logical and intuitive that there is no possibility it could ever be implemented in today’s PC universe:

A state that required a bare minimum of intelligence and education – e.g., step into the polling booth and find that the computer has generated a new quadratic equation just for you. Solve it, the computer unlocks the voting machine, you vote. But get a wrong answer and the voting machine fails to unlock, a loud bell sounds, a red light goes on over the booth – and you slink out, face red, you having just proved yourself too stupid and/or ignorant to take part in the decisions of grownups. Better luck next election! No lower age limit in this system – smart 12-yr-old girls vote every election while some of their mothers – and fathers – decline to be humiliated twice.

There are endless variations on this one. Here are two: Improving the Breed — No red light, no bell…but the booth opens automatically – empty. Revenue — You don’t risk your life, just some gelt. It costs you 1/4 oz. troy of gold in local currency to enter the booth. Solve your quadratic and vote, and you get your money back. Flunk – and the state keeps it. With this one I guarantee that no one would vote who was not interested and would be most unlikely to vote if unsure of his ability to get that hundred bucks back.

No, I don’t think they need to solve quadratic equations or have mastered the finer points of organic chemistry. Would it be too much to ask though for people to successfully answer basic questions like “if I have a basket of 8 apples and someone takes 2 of them, how many apples do I have left?” or “is it safe to leave your baby in a car on a hot day?” I would say they should be able to use the correct forms of words like “their” and “there,””too and to,” as well as “loose and lose,” but that may weed out too many adult Americans.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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Top 10 Worst Movie And Television Remakes of All Time

Just kidding! I hate remakes They’re almost all so egregiously awful and opportunistic that I can’t imagine narrowing the “worst” down to a mere list of 10. I can only think of maybe 4 remakes that are good:

1. The 1981 version of “The Thing” which a remake of “The Thing From Another World” from 1951.

2. Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Man Who Knew Too Much”(1956) which even then was a remake of his own movie, “The Man Who Knew Too Much”(1934)

3. The 1988 version of “The Blob,” which I enjoyed many late night HBO summer vacation viewings of. It was Kevin Dillon’s finest hour.

4. “One Million Years B.C.”(1966.) It has Raquel Welch’s bangin’ body in it, and that’s enough to make it good.

Yep, that’s it…unless you count “Blame It On Rio”(1984) which was apparently based on a 1977 French film. I don’t even know if that makes it a true remake. It also isn’t considered good by anyone in the world except me.

Everything else is garbage. All the remakes of the last 20 years have been made by a dumber, less creative, more PC whipped generation of filmmakers and made to appeal to a dumber, shorter attention spanned, historically challenged audience.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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The Ali G Character Meets The Character Of Pat Buchanan

So I’m not really into the whole Ali G act I have to say. I’ts pretty funny I admit, but it’s isn’t really my thing. I just don’t live in that world, and I find the whole British fascination with hip hop culture kind of bizarre.

After watching a lot of these “Ali G” videos though, I couldn’t help but notice how Pat Buchanan was cool and just went with it. So many of the other famous people were so uptight and irritated and just had no sense of humor. See the Andy Rooney or Donald Trump interviews for a comparison. They didn’t have patience for it at all. Pat understands the need to reach out to different audiences with his message and is willing to entertain a discussion with anyone. He knows it’s a joke but realizes it will be viewed by people who might be receptive to his views, that would not be exposed to them otherwise.

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Bud Bowl Memories – The Time It Was For Real

I remember when the Super Bowl was a blowout almost every year, the Bud Bowl was actually more entertaining than the actual game.

Bud Bowl I – “This Time It’s For Real!”

When I was a kid I had a habit of mailing companies asking for random stuff that I became obsessed with, such as when I wrote to the Los Angeles Rams in 1986, and they sent me an Autographed photo of Eric Dickerson, or the time I sent a letter to Mad Magazine in 1987 asking for some old back issues like the “Irving Pac” one(along with a couple others,) which they actually sent me for free. Well believe it or not I was really into Bud Light and the Spuds Mackenzie commercials, so when the Bud Bowl commercials showed up I had been rooting for Bud Light and remember being bummed out when they lost on the last second field goal. Why I gave a shit who won Bud Bowl I is a mystery to be solved only by child psychologists. However, you can bet that at 11 years old I wrote to Anheuser-Busch and asked them to send me a VHS tape of the Bud Bowl commercials, which they actually did. I always admired them as a company after that, even though my grandpa(who used to work for Miller) always referred to their beer as horsepiss. “That’s why they always have the clydesdales” he would say.

tennis
Yeah, that’s a Bud Light/Spuds Mackenzie hat I was rocking in the 80s.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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Cherry 2015 – If Loving A Fembot Is Artificial, I Don’t Want To Be Genuine

Cherry_2000_001
One of the most prescient dystopian science fiction films of the 1980′s turned out to be the (direct to video?) 1987 movie, “Cherry 2000.”

The future depicted in Cherry 2000 is one where sexual encounters and relationships with real women have become complicated legal transactions requiring lawyers, and have been reduced to merely emotionless business arrangements. The women are typically aggressive, masculine, demanding and shrill. It leads to an environment where the rare romantic guy, who still longs for a traditional loving relationship, would actually find a courtship with a female android more emotionally fulfilling than one with a real live organic woman. It’s sort of a more sympathetic, less horrific spin on “The Stepford Wives” theme. In Stepford, the men killed their loving yet sassy wives in exchange for robot sex slaves who would do the dishes and clean the house without giving them any grief. They were portrayed unmistakably as as evil pricks. In contrast, the physically human women are the ones who display the robotic behavior in Cherry 2000, while the romantic men are forced to seek out the loving emulation of androids for any “meaningful” companionship. Of course the film sells out in the end, as the main character who sacrifices everything in a dangerous quest to replace his beloved, short circuited fembot(Cherry, played by Pamela Gidley) with the identical discontinued model, ultimately falls for the crass and bitchy, tomboyish tracker, “Edith”(Melanie Griffith) whom he’s hired to help locate the robot.

With the advent of “yes means yes” laws it doesn’t seem like it will be long before men will be required to get some type of verbally recorded or written consent to engage in sexual activity with a seemingly “turned on” girl, to shield themselves from litigation or criminal prosecution if she turns on them later. As if getting a girl pregnant or contracting an STD wasn’t enough to worry about, now we have bigger fish to fry. Indeed, there is already a phone app for sexual consent, called Good2Go.

cherry2000

Recent developments over the past two decades have lead me to conclude we’re headed towards Cherry 2000 style dating in America. Indeed, I’ve started to notice that the crudely annoying spambots on Tinder and Okcupid have been getting more sophisticated in their programming to the point where interacting with them can be more romantically stimulating than talking to actual chicks(which, if you’ve ever had an unfortunate exchange with one of these Tinderbots you would realize is more of a knock on the sorry state of the 21st century female conversational experience than it is one marveling in wonder at the advancements in artificial intelligence spam.)

Then there are video game characters. Back in a particularly isolated time period of my life in 2001 and 2002, when all I did was drink diet pepsi, eat microwave popcorn and play old Super Nintendo RPGs in my studio apartment, I would occasionally develop what I guess you could call “crushes” on some of the female sprites in the games(such as Rydia from Final Fantasy IV, Marle and Schala from Chrono Trigger, Paula from Earthbound, etc.) even to where I began to curiously research the technological possibilities of transferring human consciousness to a computer. I was thinking of course that if i could somehow hack a sprite that resembled me into the game’s ROM, that it might be possible to get something going. Yeah, it’s crazy but so what? Realized dreams are the work of madmen. I also saw Tron in the theater when I was a kid so perhaps it left a subconscious impression on me.

In any case, if that kind of emotion was possible to evoke in the days of 16 bit SNES pixelation, I can only imagine how real a romance could be in the context of modern video games which are now much more advanced in their elaborate overworlds, roleplays and simulations. Thousands if not millions of men and women find the virtual experience of video games more appealing than going outside and playing. It would be naive to think that organic human love would be any less vulnerable to competition from artificial intelligence than other components of our earthly existence.

Dust off your 1980′s JC Penney catalog and get your fembots on order, men! This scene is coming to a nightclub or campus near you.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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Scumtown

sears

On my experience living in Los Angeles 15 years ago, I wrote this longish piece: (which later appeared in my book “SideQuests“)

Scumtown

Have a look at the havoc of this place.
Oh, I bet it used to be great,
but just look at it now.
It’s a scumtown.

A long time ago, while watching the James Bond movie
“Goldfinger,” in a studio apartment in
what was once West Hollywood,
during an opening sequence, when the camera closes in on
a spectacular resort in Miami
(always notice the beautiful dive),
I uttered this seemingly obvious remark,
“I bet Miami was a great place back then…before all the immigrants.”
My friend whom I was with seemed mildly irritated
by the comment for what he perceived as it’s implied
“subtle racism.” And maybe he was right,
but it’s something one could go on to say
about a great many once great places.
On my first full day in Los Angeles,
my first impression was a Sears on Santa Monica and Western
which I would come to refer to as “third world Sears.”
There were hordes of people stampeding throughout the place,
and clothing strewn about everywhere, with reckless disregard
for the generally accepted and often excessively anal standards
of your average department store. This is not your average
department store, but as the US continues its transition toward
becoming a third world country,
where such refugee camp swap meets represent normalcy,
it soon may be. I wasn’t thinking about that, though. All I could think of was that at one time it must have been a wonderful store,
and anyone involved in the building of the building
or who had worked there in it’s heyday
would be appalled and saddened
at the looted corpse of an establishment it had become.
More comically, there is a place on Sunset called “The All American
Burger,” where there literally did not appear to be one American working there.

But of course appearance isn’t everything, so there may have been.

The Los Angeles experience is one that can be summed up
in the episode of “The Simpsons” where they go to Hollywood,
and as the tour bus passes a famous landmark, the tour guide
points toward a seedy vacant lot with a few bums milling about
and says; “Uh, for those of you who always wanted to see the famous Brown Derby restaurant…that’s where it used to be.”
When I was a kid we lived on a street with a string of townhouses, where everyone knew each other, and all the kids(and often parents) played together in each other’s yards.
Everybody on the block was like your family, and every house was like your house with the only difference being that yours was the one you slept in at night.
There’s no question that there are thousands of neighborhoods as yet unaffected, where all that stuff still happens, new places being
constructed where in the future it will happen, and of course it probably already didn’t happen back then in places where it had once happened.
Still, it’s always sad to see something doesn’t happen and will never
again happen somewhere that it used to happen.
What’s happening?
It’s like in “Back to the Future II” when
Marty Mcfly travels to 2015, and is elated to discover
he will live “Hilldale,”(a lush neighborhood in his own time)
until he learns it is really just a future ghetto,
just as in the first film when he goes to 1955 and sees
how “Lyon Estates” was a promising new development in the 50′s,
but would become a subpar subdivision by the 1980′s.
That’s about enough lenses to desensitize more than one of one’s senses.
After all, it’s tense enough even without all the tenses.
These days it seems one can’t walk 50 feet without being harassed by an aggressive bum asking for money, or some self entitled hurricane Katrina refugee who responds with threats and belligerence no matter whether
his request is politely declined or even accepted.
For those with number counter syndrome,
they can never have enough
They always want more numbers to count.
To them, the ambiance doesn’t.
But to some of us, ambiance matters!
and there’s no arguing with the feeling of an experience.
It is what it is.

Spending an afternoon watching Cary Grant
mountaineering about Mount Rushmore in “North By Northwest”,
and directly following that by a trip to one’s nearest
gihugic mega mall (and I say “nearest” because these behemoths are not worthy of the term “local”), one can intuitively, inductively, reasonably observe, this place has gone down the tubes. And if not,
then they don’t know or don’t care what they won’t miss.
To that people always say something along the lines of
“the 50′s and 60′s weren’t really like the way they were portrayed in
movies.” And yes, it’s true that life for all wasn’t exactly as depicted
in old Rock Hudson and Doris Day films,
(after all Rock Hudson was gay!)
But so what?!
It may not have been entirely like that, but whatever it was,
was certainly nothing like this.
Either wall it off, or wall me in.
There’s nothing out there.
Nothing left but to be left
to the sanctuary of one’s own imagination within.
Have a look at the havoc of this place.
Oh, I bet it used to be great,
but just look at it now.
It’s a scumtown

I still think about that Sears a lot. It was a beautiful old building in the heart of the city. I thought about how proud the people must have been the day they finished building it. I went there to buy some jeans thinking it was going to be a normal department store, but when I walked in, there piles of clothing and products literally everywhere. You couldn’t even walk through the place….just a total disaster and it was as if the employees and the swarms of Spanish speaking customers were completely oblivious to it, like it was a standard for an establishment that they were just fine with. I was somewhat against it before then, but that was my red pill moment on immigration.. where I just said to myself “hell no, I’m not down with this.”

Most people think of California as liberal, but Southern California was once a bastion of Barry Goldwater conservatism, and look at it now? Look at Anaheim, where Disneyland is. It’s garbageville. Same with the high desert, the San Fernando Valley, Riverside, I could go on and on.

Here is the telling Urban Dictionary entry for Pomona, CA:

Pomona:
a ghetto ass place, where it use to be such a popular and lovely place. it was an attraction for stars, but not anymore.. now its an attraction for the cholos and shit. its mostly hispanics, some blacks and cambos, and fewww whites.
aye foo, where’d my homie go?

he went to some kickback in pomona.

That’s the new California. If you’re super rich you can live in one of the pockets of gated communities and price out the riff raff and isolate yourself from the richness of mass immigration…for a while, until they vote away enough of your money or the public schools become so ghetto that you decide to move.

We don’t need to import millions of impoverished people from ragtag third world countries. We have all that we need and then some.

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Taylor’s Comet

westboro-taylor-shirt

Do tacky Hawaiian shirts with scantily clad women on them prevent dissuade women from entering scientific fields? Or does the fact that so many women appear to be too easily distracted politically incorrect fashion to focus on technological achievements play a larger role in their under-representation in the realm?

I would have to say no to the former and yes to the latter. For one thing, men think more logically and mathematically(on average,) whereas women are more emotional. That’s why men excel in these fields. Science and mathematics are emotionless. They don’t care what gender you are and all that matters is if you can deliver the empirical data.

If anything, there is a tremendous amount of societal pressure to get women into these areas. Tech companies salivate at the prospect of the PR they could get from being able to show how diversity friendly they are. It’s much easier to get women into the marketing and finance areas though where there are a lot of different ways for a person to be effective. In technology, you either can solve the equations or you can’t. You either know the programming language, or you don’t. Also, to reach a high level of technical expertise(to the extent that you would have a prominent position)requires an incredibly daunting commitment to learning. If a woman takes a break to have a couple kids, she’s going to be way behind.

There’s a reason why the stereotype of the “computer programmer geek” exists. It’s because one often has to sacrifice any social life or dating starting at a young age, to dedicate themselves to master these incredibly tedious and complicated subjects. Sometimes this is done involuntarily(a kid sucks at sports and is awkward so he stays inside and starts reading astronomy books.) Even unattractive women typically always have plenty of attention. Rarely are they forced to become so completely isolated to where they would build a high tolerance to boring subjects and turn their energy to weird science junk.

I don’t consider myself a nerd or a bad looking guy, but I can easily look back at time periods in my life where I went 6 months without hanging out with or talking to anyone and became enveloped in my own tedious(non-scientific) projects. A lot of girls can’t even watch an old black and white movie 20 minutes without getting bored and looking at their smartphone. They’re just not used to it.

Any woman who wants to enter the tech industry would be welcomed if she has the answers. It’s just not something you can BS your way through. Either you can program the spaceship’s master computer or you can’t. Getting a job at most normal companies is based on personality and background credentials. If you want to work in a technical job at Microsoft or SpaceX, you will undergo rigorous testing and you will have to prove exactly what you know. Spend a few years alone in your room taking apart and putting back together old alarm clocks, and see if you’ve got what it takes to someday wear that shirt.

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The Ghostest With The Mostest

MostHeye

I got the word that Brooklyn lifestyle collective known as “MOST HEYE” was releasing their debut single “Remember.” Some info from their most recent press release:

Brooklyn lifestyle collective MOST HEYE has announced the release of their debut single titled, “Remember.” The new track features the street-savvy lyrics of Sin, just one-half of the emerging New York based hip hop duo. Known for their lucid underground sound, backpack styled rap and trendsetting sneaker designs, MOST HEYE aims to capture the attention of music and fashion enthusiasts alike. The new single, “Remember,” is currently available on Soundcloud at: http://buff.ly/1xIRKUu

So I checked it out and was pretty impressed. Sin’s clever lyrics include gems like”another crab in the bucket” and “Ever since I caught my first plate northbound on the interstate” that flow easily and get stuck in your head, but that really adds to the track is the female vocal backing that’s layered underneath. It elevates the song to a higher level of musicality and distinguishes it from so many standard rap songs which are high on rhymes and short on music. You know the kind if you spent any time online checking out indie rap music. They typically feature crappy radio shack microphones and early 90s model, Boss drum machine beats(not that I don’t like those drum machines.) “Remember” is more advanced than that. It’s a real “song” with legit production and talented performers. This music doesn’t have a cheap feel to it at all, and while I don’t ever really get into the whole vague “revolution” theme that seems to incorporate itself into nearly every hip hop song, I certainly would bump this jam in my car without thinking twice about it.

http://www.mostheye.com/

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The Psychic Eye

Rasplyn_Scenes
The first thing that comes to mind with solo artist, “Rasplyn,” is that her appearance and her music wouldn’t seem out of place in any of the Ray Harryhausen “Sinbad” trilogy films(particularly the third movie, “Sinbad and The Eye Of The Tiger.” Her style could best be described as mythological, and she captures the dark ambiance of an alternate fantasy world extremely well.

The song “Circle Round” from the album, “Scenes Through The Magic Eye” has an organic sort of electronica backing. It starts off with a hypnotic trance and then slowly builds to a more orchestral climax. Don’t let the name “Rasplyn” fool you. There’s definitely nothing raspy about this woman’s voice. In fact, there’s really not much negative that can be said about the whole album. It really just comes down to whether you are into new age culture or not(energy healing, clairvoyance, tarot, etc.) If that kind of thing interests you on any level, even a little bit(as it does me just a tad) then you will enjoy this.
Rasplyn’s music uniquely combines classical composition with new age mysticism to create a transcendent listening experience. Her songs are available through record label
http://www.mythicalrecords.com/

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