The Ali G Character Meets The Character Of Pat Buchanan

So I’m not really into the whole Ali G act I have to say. I’ts pretty funny I admit, but it’s isn’t really my thing. I just don’t live in that world, and I find the whole British fascination with hip hop culture kind of bizarre.

After watching a lot of these “Ali G” videos though, I couldn’t help but notice how Pat Buchanan was cool and just went with it. So many of the other famous people were so uptight and irritated and just had no sense of humor. See the Andy Rooney or Donald Trump interviews for a comparison. They didn’t have patience for it at all. Pat understands the need to reach out to different audiences with his message and is willing to entertain a discussion with anyone. He knows it’s a joke but realizes it will be viewed by people who might be receptive to his views, that would not be exposed to them otherwise.

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Bud Bowl Memories – The Time It Was For Real

I remember when the Super Bowl was a blowout almost every year, the Bud Bowl was actually more entertaining than the actual game.

Bud Bowl I – “This Time It’s For Real!”

When I was a kid I had a habit of mailing companies asking for random stuff that I became obsessed with, such as when I wrote to the Los Angeles Rams in 1986, and they sent me an Autographed photo of Eric Dickerson, or the time I sent a letter to Mad Magazine in 1987 asking for some old back issues like the “Irving Pac” one(along with a couple others,) which they actually sent me for free. Well believe it or not I was really into Bud Light and the Spuds Mackenzie commercials, so when the Bud Bowl commercials showed up I had been rooting for Bud Light and remember being bummed out when they lost on the last second field goal. Why I gave a shit who won Bud Bowl I is a mystery to be solved only by child psychologists. However, you can bet that at 11 years old I wrote to Anheuser-Busch and asked them to send me a VHS tape of the Bud Bowl commercials, which they actually did. I always admired them as a company after that, even though my grandpa(who used to work for Miller) always referred to their beer as horsepiss. “That’s why they always have the clydesdales” he would say.

tennis
Yeah, that’s a Bud Light/Spuds Mackenzie hat I was rocking in the 80s.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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Cherry 2015 – If Loving A Fembot Is Artificial, I Don’t Want To Be Genuine

Cherry_2000_001
One of the most prescient dystopian science fiction films of the 1980′s turned out to be the (direct to video?) 1987 movie, “Cherry 2000.”

The future depicted in Cherry 2000 is one where sexual encounters and relationships with real women have become complicated legal transactions requiring lawyers, and have been reduced to merely emotionless business arrangements. The women are typically aggressive, masculine, demanding and shrill. It leads to an environment where the rare romantic guy, who still longs for a traditional loving relationship, would actually find a courtship with a female android more emotionally fulfilling than one with a real live organic woman. It’s sort of a more sympathetic, less horrific spin on “The Stepford Wives” theme. In Stepford, the men killed their loving yet sassy wives in exchange for robot sex slaves who would do the dishes and clean the house without giving them any grief. They were portrayed unmistakably as as evil pricks. In contrast, the physically human women are the ones who display the robotic behavior in Cherry 2000, while the romantic men are forced to seek out the loving emulation of androids for any “meaningful” companionship. Of course the film sells out in the end, as the main character who sacrifices everything in a dangerous quest to replace his beloved, short circuited fembot(Cherry, played by Pamela Gidley) with the identical discontinued model, ultimately falls for the crass and bitchy, tomboyish tracker, “Edith”(Melanie Griffith) whom he’s hired to help locate the robot.

With the advent of “yes means yes” laws it doesn’t seem like it will be long before men will be required to get some type of verbally recorded or written consent to engage in sexual activity with a seemingly “turned on” girl, to shield themselves from litigation or criminal prosecution if she turns on them later. As if getting a girl pregnant or contracting an STD wasn’t enough to worry about, now we have bigger fish to fry. Indeed, there is already a phone app for sexual consent, called Good2Go.

cherry2000

Recent developments over the past two decades have lead me to conclude we’re headed towards Cherry 2000 style dating in America. Indeed, I’ve started to notice that the crudely annoying spambots on Tinder and Okcupid have been getting more sophisticated in their programming to the point where interacting with them can be more romantically stimulating than talking to actual chicks(which, if you’ve ever had an unfortunate exchange with one of these Tinderbots you would realize is more of a knock on the sorry state of the 21st century female conversational experience than it is one marveling in wonder at the advancements in artificial intelligence spam.)

Then there are video game characters. Back in a particularly isolated time period of my life in 2001 and 2002, when all I did was drink diet pepsi, eat microwave popcorn and play old Super Nintendo RPGs in my studio apartment, I would occasionally develop what I guess you could call “crushes” on some of the female sprites in the games(such as Rydia from Final Fantasy IV, Marle and Schala from Chrono Trigger, Paula from Earthbound, etc.) even to where I began to curiously research the technological possibilities of transferring human consciousness to a computer. I was thinking of course that if i could somehow hack a sprite that resembled me into the game’s ROM, that it might be possible to get something going. Yeah, it’s crazy but so what? Realized dreams are the work of madmen. I also saw Tron in the theater when I was a kid so perhaps it left a subconscious impression on me.

In any case, if that kind of emotion was possible to evoke in the days of 16 bit SNES pixelation, I can only imagine how real a romance could be in the context of modern video games which are now much more advanced in their elaborate overworlds, roleplays and simulations. Thousands if not millions of men and women find the virtual experience of video games more appealing than going outside and playing. It would be naive to think that organic human love would be any less vulnerable to competition from artificial intelligence than other components of our earthly existence.

Dust off your 1980′s JC Penney catalog and get your fembots on order, men! This scene is coming to a nightclub or campus near you.


Brandon Adamson is the author of “Beatnik Fascism

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Scumtown

sears

On my experience living in Los Angeles 15 years ago, I wrote this longish piece: (which later appeared in my book “SideQuests“)

Scumtown

Have a look at the havoc of this place.
Oh, I bet it used to be great,
but just look at it now.
It’s a scumtown.

A long time ago, while watching the James Bond movie
“Goldfinger,” in a studio apartment in
what was once West Hollywood,
during an opening sequence, when the camera closes in on
a spectacular resort in Miami
(always notice the beautiful dive),
I uttered this seemingly obvious remark,
“I bet Miami was a great place back then…before all the immigrants.”
My friend whom I was with seemed mildly irritated
by the comment for what he perceived as it’s implied
“subtle racism.” And maybe he was right,
but it’s something one could go on to say
about a great many once great places.
On my first full day in Los Angeles,
my first impression was a Sears on Santa Monica and Western
which I would come to refer to as “third world Sears.”
There were hordes of people stampeding throughout the place,
and clothing strewn about everywhere, with reckless disregard
for the generally accepted and often excessively anal standards
of your average department store. This is not your average
department store, but as the US continues its transition toward
becoming a third world country,
where such refugee camp swap meets represent normalcy,
it soon may be. I wasn’t thinking about that, though. All I could think of was that at one time it must have been a wonderful store,
and anyone involved in the building of the building
or who had worked there in it’s heyday
would be appalled and saddened
at the looted corpse of an establishment it had become.
More comically, there is a place on Sunset called “The All American
Burger,” where there literally did not appear to be one American working there.

But of course appearance isn’t everything, so there may have been.

The Los Angeles experience is one that can be summed up
in the episode of “The Simpsons” where they go to Hollywood,
and as the tour bus passes a famous landmark, the tour guide
points toward a seedy vacant lot with a few bums milling about
and says; “Uh, for those of you who always wanted to see the famous Brown Derby restaurant…that’s where it used to be.”
When I was a kid we lived on a street with a string of townhouses, where everyone knew each other, and all the kids(and often parents) played together in each other’s yards.
Everybody on the block was like your family, and every house was like your house with the only difference being that yours was the one you slept in at night.
There’s no question that there are thousands of neighborhoods as yet unaffected, where all that stuff still happens, new places being
constructed where in the future it will happen, and of course it probably already didn’t happen back then in places where it had once happened.
Still, it’s always sad to see something doesn’t happen and will never
again happen somewhere that it used to happen.
What’s happening?
It’s like in “Back to the Future II” when
Marty Mcfly travels to 2015, and is elated to discover
he will live “Hilldale,”(a lush neighborhood in his own time)
until he learns it is really just a future ghetto,
just as in the first film when he goes to 1955 and sees
how “Lyon Estates” was a promising new development in the 50′s,
but would become a subpar subdivision by the 1980′s.
That’s about enough lenses to desensitize more than one of one’s senses.
After all, it’s tense enough even without all the tenses.
These days it seems one can’t walk 50 feet without being harassed by an aggressive bum asking for money, or some self entitled hurricane Katrina refugee who responds with threats and belligerence no matter whether
his request is politely declined or even accepted.
For those with number counter syndrome,
they can never have enough
They always want more numbers to count.
To them, the ambiance doesn’t.
But to some of us, ambiance matters!
and there’s no arguing with the feeling of an experience.
It is what it is.

Spending an afternoon watching Cary Grant
mountaineering about Mount Rushmore in “North By Northwest”,
and directly following that by a trip to one’s nearest
gihugic mega mall (and I say “nearest” because these behemoths are not worthy of the term “local”), one can intuitively, inductively, reasonably observe, this place has gone down the tubes. And if not,
then they don’t know or don’t care what they won’t miss.
To that people always say something along the lines of
“the 50′s and 60′s weren’t really like the way they were portrayed in
movies.” And yes, it’s true that life for all wasn’t exactly as depicted
in old Rock Hudson and Doris Day films,
(after all Rock Hudson was gay!)
But so what?!
It may not have been entirely like that, but whatever it was,
was certainly nothing like this.
Either wall it off, or wall me in.
There’s nothing out there.
Nothing left but to be left
to the sanctuary of one’s own imagination within.
Have a look at the havoc of this place.
Oh, I bet it used to be great,
but just look at it now.
It’s a scumtown

I still think about that Sears a lot. It was a beautiful old building in the heart of the city. I thought about how proud the people must have been the day they finished building it. I went there to buy some jeans thinking it was going to be a normal department store, but when I walked in, there piles of clothing and products literally everywhere. You couldn’t even walk through the place….just a total disaster and it was as if the employees and the swarms of Spanish speaking customers were completely oblivious to it, like it was a standard for an establishment that they were just fine with. I was somewhat against it before then, but that was my red pill moment on immigration.. where I just said to myself “hell no, I’m not down with this.”

Most people think of California as liberal, but Southern California was once a bastion of Barry Goldwater conservatism, and look at it now? Look at Anaheim, where Disneyland is. It’s garbageville. Same with the high desert, the San Fernando Valley, Riverside, I could go on and on.

Here is the telling Urban Dictionary entry for Pomona, CA:

Pomona:
a ghetto ass place, where it use to be such a popular and lovely place. it was an attraction for stars, but not anymore.. now its an attraction for the cholos and shit. its mostly hispanics, some blacks and cambos, and fewww whites.
aye foo, where’d my homie go?

he went to some kickback in pomona.

That’s the new California. If you’re super rich you can live in one of the pockets of gated communities and price out the riff raff and isolate yourself from the richness of mass immigration…for a while, until they vote away enough of your money or the public schools become so ghetto that you decide to move.

We don’t need to import millions of impoverished people from ragtag third world countries. We have all that we need and then some.

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Taylor’s Comet

westboro-taylor-shirt

Do tacky Hawaiian shirts with scantily clad women on them prevent dissuade women from entering scientific fields? Or does the fact that so many women appear to be too easily distracted politically incorrect fashion to focus on technological achievements play a larger role in their under-representation in the realm?

I would have to say no to the former and yes to the latter. For one thing, men think more logically and mathematically(on average,) whereas women are more emotional. That’s why men excel in these fields. Science and mathematics are emotionless. They don’t care what gender you are and all that matters is if you can deliver the empirical data.

If anything, there is a tremendous amount of societal pressure to get women into these areas. Tech companies salivate at the prospect of the PR they could get from being able to show how diversity friendly they are. It’s much easier to get women into the marketing and finance areas though where there are a lot of different ways for a person to be effective. In technology, you either can solve the equations or you can’t. You either know the programming language, or you don’t. Also, to reach a high level of technical expertise(to the extent that you would have a prominent position)requires an incredibly daunting commitment to learning. If a woman takes a break to have a couple kids, she’s going to be way behind.

There’s a reason why the stereotype of the “computer programmer geek” exists. It’s because one often has to sacrifice any social life or dating starting at a young age, to dedicate themselves to master these incredibly tedious and complicated subjects. Sometimes this is done involuntarily(a kid sucks at sports and is awkward so he stays inside and starts reading astronomy books.) Even unattractive women typically always have plenty of attention. Rarely are they forced to become so completely isolated to where they would build a high tolerance to boring subjects and turn their energy to weird science junk.

I don’t consider myself a nerd or a bad looking guy, but I can easily look back at time periods in my life where I went 6 months without hanging out with or talking to anyone and became enveloped in my own tedious(non-scientific) projects. A lot of girls can’t even watch an old black and white movie 20 minutes without getting bored and looking at their smartphone. They’re just not used to it.

Any woman who wants to enter the tech industry would be welcomed if she has the answers. It’s just not something you can BS your way through. Either you can program the spaceship’s master computer or you can’t. Getting a job at most normal companies is based on personality and background credentials. If you want to work in a technical job at Microsoft or SpaceX, you will undergo rigorous testing and you will have to prove exactly what you know. Spend a few years alone in your room taking apart and putting back together old alarm clocks, and see if you’ve got what it takes to someday wear that shirt.

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GrayPages

reverse phone lookup
A gray pages directory is a collection of telephone numbers and associated customer details. However, unlike a standard telephone directory, where the user searches by name and address in order to find out the telephone number of a person or business, a reverse phone lookup directory allows users to search by a telephone number in order to retrieve information about the person the phone number belongs to.

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Most Heartbreaking Los Angeles Rams Losses (Part 3)

1985 NFC Championship
Los Angeles Rams vs. Chicago Bears
January 12, 1986

After watching Eric Dickerson run for a playoff record 248 yards and the Rams beat the Cowboys 20-0 in the divisional playoffs the previous week from my grandparents’ condo, I had high hopes for LA to beat the big bad Bears in the NFC Championship. Instead, they lost 24-0, and it was a pretty miserable day for me. This game is thought of by most as a lopsided blowout given the shutout score, but in actuality the Rams had their chances to give Chicago a run for their money. With Chicago only up 10-0 right before the half, the Rams had driven down to the bears 5 yard line. They took too long on a play and then tried to call timeout with 1 second left to kick a field goal. The refs didn’t give them the timeout, and the half was over. Had they gotten a chance to kick the field goal, the score would have been 10-3 at half time, and they would have gotten some momentum.

Instead the Bears came out in the 3rd quarter and went up 17-0. The Rams also had a 60 yard pass from Dieter Brock to Ron Brown to the 15 yard line get called back on a questionable call(Brown had stepped out of bounds but was pushed out as a result of illegal contact or pass interference which wasn’t called.) Anyhow, the Rams choked in this game when they were one of the only teams that was at least good enough to beat the bears(they came back to Chicago the following year and got their revenge against them in an epic monday night game.) This was really a heartbreaking loss for probably the best Ram team of the 80′s, and ever since this game I have always hated the Bears.

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Most Heartbreaking Los Angeles Rams Losses (Part 2)

Rams vs. Patriots November 16, 1986

I watched this game alone in the den, and it was a good one. Steve Dils started the game as QB, but after going down 13-0, the Rams’ Jim Everett made his debut. The Rams were ahead 28-16 in the 4th quarter and then it was 28-23. I was sure that they had it won, but the Patriots won it on a hail mary pass to Irving Fryar with no time left. Being a kid, I was absolutely stunned as I had never seen a game won on a hail mary before. I went to bed extremely depressed, and I think my mom asked me what was wrong. Yep, in 1986 the rams losing mattered to me, and strangely it still does. I’ve relived this ending in my mind a thousand times and have had many unfulfilled fantasies over the years about it turning out differently.

Skip to 9:40 to see the play.

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School of Hard Rocks

When I was in 5th grade, I was attending school in Chandler, Arizona. The school was called Kyrene de la Paloma, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My teacher was super nice and funny, and he even had the same birthday as me!

I was even head over heels for this dame named Renee, who lived down the block from me, and was nice enough to give me the time of day outside of class. I also had a good little group of friends that I palled around with a bunch. My best friend of the group was Sean. His mother was British, but he didn’t have any accent. She would always let us rent rated R movies from the store. Its how I first saw Evil Dead and The Road Warrior.

During that year, my family moved from Chandler to Tempe, and I hated it. I remember crying when they first told me, because I knew I wouldn’t see Renee again.

Tempe itself, and the new house, weren’t bad at all, it was the school though, that was the pits. The kids were different, the teachers were different, the school lunch smelled funny, it was dreadful to me. It was also an older school, made in the 50s or 60s, and to me, that was bad. I was just coming from a school that was only built a year ago, and all my friends and teachers I liked. Most of the hallways were indoors, so you didn’t have to go outside for classes, except PE.

This new school also had a lot more black kids, which I wasn’t used to. I remember trying to buddy up a couple of them by talking about TV shows like Good Times or That’s My Momma. They seemed to dig that about me I think.

The final straw though, was when I was in class, doing an assignment about pronouns. I had turned in my paper, feeling good about myself because we had already learned pronouns at my last school.

I got my paper back, with an F. I was shocked, to the point where I asked the teacher, in front of the whole class, why did I get an F?

The teacher gave me an F for using the context of “her” and “she” with the name Sam. I had just came from a school where the only classmate I knew named Sam was a girl. How dare this teacher not give me the benefit of the doubt, or at least acknowledge that Sam can be a girl or boys name?!?!

I plead my case, and I think any good teacher would recognize that I was using the proper pronouns, despite the sex of the person in question. But she was a hard ass, and refused to change my grade.

I came home that night, explaining this to my parents. I don’t recall what transpired after this incident, but not long after, the family was moving again, this time to Phoenix. I know I often complained and whined about the school, the teachers, and not making friends. So I must have forced their hand.

It was a big mistake really though, because ever since then, I have always felt most comfortable while in Tempe, and I always wanna live there.

I still pass by the house often, off of Hardy and University, wondering who lives there now, and how I wish I still did.

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